Rental Corner: “Green Lantern” unexpectedly falls…
In the first 10 minutes, “Green Lantern” has two things that bug me throughout. First, the effects feel like something out of a video game and the main character is completely unlikable. With that said, I’m not surprised to say that I’m on the bandwagon of critics that feel this was a lazy attempt to adapt a popular DC comic book superhero. But the worst of the year? I think that goes to something else, even though there is an open spot for this one.
Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is depicted as a cocky Air Force pilot that uses manuevers leftover from Top Gun. After he shows off during a presentation where he destroys two drones, a dying alien gives him his powerful ring and a lantern that serves as a charger for his power. Apparently, the alien was previous part of a Green Lantern squad that is said to “police” the galaxy, but we don’t see much of it. True, we do get to see their planet now and then, but we never see Hal go off on any big mission at another planet or understand more of how the way the Green Lanterns work. It just expects us to understand what is going on with the knowledge of the comic in place, which I can’t go into detail as I never read any of them.
In all honesty, who in their right mind would give a power gift to a jerk? In the first half, Hal is set up as this character that boasts his pilot work and has a girlfriend that seems less interested in him considering how he acts. Not to mention the relationship he has with his family that is troublesome, but get see in one scene. If you are going to make a character unlikable from the start, at least have something we can connect with him to understand why. We do get this phobia he has of ending up like his father, but it’s not emphasized enough.
The alien planet of Green Lanterns is a bit of laugh and bore. Thor had believable sets even if they were digital because they looked like places we could visit, compared to the desolate and moon cratered planet that homes possible over a thousand of these green suited creatures. Even the aliens themselves feel unoriginal and more like rejects from a special edition cut of Captain EO. Apparently, they have the ability to shoot out any item from their ring as long as its green and used to save people. Bit of a lazy power as heroes like Superman and relied on strength and powers that related to their “mutation” or pre-born superpowers. Even heroes like Batman didn’t have to shoot out shields and cartoony race car tracks to stop villains like the Joker.
Speaking of villains, we get two as a scientist named Hector that gets infected with an alien virus that causes him to do telepathic powers, but at the cost of having a big and swollen head. At times, I felt this character was not convincing as a villain or even a memorable one. He just acted like a bland creep that would sit there and try to get involved with the story, but does little to move the plot or make an impact.
The other is a massive squid-engergy force called Parallex, that is awaken and feeds on fear. His mission is to follow the Gallacticus rule and eat planets while sucking out the souls of those who fear him. This is probably the most ugliest thing placed on the screen and looks like a big glob of evil cookie dough than a threatening entity. If I meant up with this thing, I would laugh straight on at its ridiculous appearance.
“Green Lantern” as a whole is just silly, campy, and straight up bad. You think the people at the WB would even try to make a good movie on this green guy, but instead fail with no effort present to show they were trying to make a good movie. There’s too much CGI, the characters are not likable, and it’s just basic filler to a disappointing climax where Hal tries to lead the dirty beast into the sun. There’s just nothing new to offer here. Maybe if they followed closer to the comics and set the entire origin closer to the original comics as opposed to doing a modern spin, maybe there would be something more salvageable. Instead, it’s a waste of time and good popcorn on a superhero whose suit color is the same as another powerful thing that it will never gain back: the money that was put in its $200 million budget.